NO SENSE OF HUMOR..NO ENTRY
Showing posts with label Palpak na english. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Palpak na english. Show all posts
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Monday, August 13, 2012
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
SUNDIN ANG PAYO NI JIMMY SANTOS
"A condom is a thing to be worn in the ‘utensil’ so that in time of emergency, the come out will not be exposed.” — Jimmy Santos of Eat, Bulaga!
.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
NAKATIKIM KA NA NG CHINESE DISEASES?
AT THE SENATE HEARING WHILE ON RECESS ( Tatlong itlog nag uusap)
TITO SOTTO: Magaling si Helen mag luto. Expert siya sa French Cuisine
BONG REVILLA: Si Lani ko magaling sa Italian pastas. Ikaw Lito, ano alam Mrs. mo?
LITO LAPID: Ah si Mrs mga lutong Asia lang alam nun. pero magaling siya sa pagluto ng CHINESE DISEASES
(moral of the story......)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
FULL TO OPEN
Hindi ka pa nakuntento dinalawa mo pa ang instructions. Alam ko na nakasulat sa kabila...FUSH...ah buset!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
HAW ABOUT YOU
does it true na ang gwapo at maganda ay mahina sa
isfelling at
grammers?
my gas!
did they sure?
wat does they proof?
it hurts me
i am not belief of diss.
does you?
isfelling at
grammers?
my gas!
did they sure?
wat does they proof?
it hurts me
i am not belief of diss.
does you?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Monday, December 6, 2010
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
OPTIMIST
True story...
one time nakasakay ako ng jeep, dalawang feeling sosyalerang
estudyanteng babae trying hard na english speaking ang nag uusap......
Sosyalera1: Girl, my eyes are getting labo na. I need na talaga siguro
na mag wear ng glasses. But i dont know my grado girl sa eyes ko?
Soyalera2: Girl, you should see a doctor to check your eyes.
Sosyalera1: Girl, do you know someone who can check my eyes? So labo na kasi talaga siya.
Sosyalera2: Naku girl, ill take you sa uncle ko doctor siya sa eyes. His really a good OPTIMIST
ngek!!! optimist daw!!!!
Monday, November 15, 2010
MGA PAMATAY NA ENGLISH NI MELANIE MARQUEZ
Here're some actual quotes from Melanie Marquez,
the former Miss International, also a self confessed Madame Malaprop.
I won't stoop down to my level.
Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?
Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.
Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo... Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.
We are lovers, not fighters.
My brother is not a girl; he's a gentleman.
That's why I'm a success, it's because I don't middle in other
people's lives.
Don't judge my brother; he's not a book.
Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.
Bakit ang dami mong tanong? You're so questionable.
I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival.
Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong
taon sa inyong lahat. (during her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards
night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award)
Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!
the former Miss International, also a self confessed Madame Malaprop.
I won't stoop down to my level.
Hello? Bulag ka ba? Bingi ka ba? Are you dep?
Yung STD, baka sa maruming toilet lang niya nakuha yan.
Eh, ikaw ba naman, durugin ang ari mo... Pag di ka naman manutok ng baril.
We are lovers, not fighters.
My brother is not a girl; he's a gentleman.
That's why I'm a success, it's because I don't middle in other
people's lives.
Don't judge my brother; he's not a book.
Kapatid ko pa rin siya. We are one and the same.
Bakit ang dami mong tanong? You're so questionable.
I don't eat meat. I'm not a carnival.
Eto na po ang pinakamaligayang pasko at manigong
taon sa inyong lahat. (during her acceptance speech at a Metro Filmfest awards
night where her bioflick, directed by her late father Temyong Marquez, won an award)
Sumasakit ang migraine ko.
Ang tatay ko ang only living legend na buhay!
Period na talaga; wala nang exclamation point.
(when asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right)
(at a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee,Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek's mother, whom she partly blamed for the separation) "O o nga," said Melanie, "pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." She looked into the camera and, with the
peremptoriness of royalty, said, "And to you, Mrs Dee, I have two
words for you. Ang labo mo!"
(when asked for a message to her daughter who was allegedly abused by their houseboy) "Don't worry little angel, big angel is here."
(on what they should do to the houseboy who molested her kid) "He
should be put behind bar!"
"You can fool me once, you can even fool me twice, you can even fool
me thrice. But you can never fool me four!"
(while waiting backstage during a noon time show,after watching
Nikki Valdez do her dance number) "Nikki, you're so galing. You
should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes!"
ATE LUDS: "Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo?"
"Alam mo Ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone,
you really have to istep your foot...ah ,forward!"
Eddie Mercado: "Angie Dickinson has insured her legs for a million
dollars, would you also do the same?"
Melanie: "No, of course no, because I am proud and
contented with my long-legged." With this answer, she bagged the
crown and eventually won the Miss International in 1978.
(while she's in Morning Girls With Kris & Korina promoting her movie with Aleck Bovick)
"Please watch "Hiram" starring Aleck Baldwin, and myself. It's director by Romy Suzara.
Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko... sa mga kwento
nya? Di ba kayo na-persuave ng mga kinwento nya?"
"Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae...talaga lang
malapit sya sa mga gulo... pro-accident kasi sya eh..."
Boy Abunda: O, Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong nagmo-Mormon ka na?
Melanie: Ah okay lang yan Boy, kasi matagal na rin akong semi-retarded
(when asked on S-Files if her present husband, Adam Lawyer, is her Mr. Right)
(at a talk show after her break-up with Derek Dee,Melanie was asked if she had some words for Derek's mother, whom she partly blamed for the separation) "O o nga," said Melanie, "pero i-English-in ko para maintindihan niya." She looked into the camera and, with the
peremptoriness of royalty, said, "And to you, Mrs Dee, I have two
words for you. Ang labo mo!"
(when asked for a message to her daughter who was allegedly abused by their houseboy) "Don't worry little angel, big angel is here."
(on what they should do to the houseboy who molested her kid) "He
should be put behind bar!"
"You can fool me once, you can even fool me twice, you can even fool
me thrice. But you can never fool me four!"
(while waiting backstage during a noon time show,after watching
Nikki Valdez do her dance number) "Nikki, you're so galing. You
should go to the States. You will sell hotcakes!"
ATE LUDS: "Paano ka nag-susurvive sa mga trials mo?"
"Alam mo Ate Ludz, you know, when you are alone,
you really have to istep your foot...ah ,forward!"
Eddie Mercado: "Angie Dickinson has insured her legs for a million
dollars, would you also do the same?"
Melanie: "No, of course no, because I am proud and
contented with my long-legged." With this answer, she bagged the
crown and eventually won the Miss International in 1978.
(while she's in Morning Girls With Kris & Korina promoting her movie with Aleck Bovick)
"Please watch "Hiram" starring Aleck Baldwin, and myself. It's director by Romy Suzara.
Hindi ba kayo naawa sa kapatid ko... sa mga kwento
nya? Di ba kayo na-persuave ng mga kinwento nya?"
"Hindi si Joey ang tipong mambubugbog ng babae...talaga lang
malapit sya sa mga gulo... pro-accident kasi sya eh..."
Boy Abunda: O, Melanie, paano na ang showbiz career mo ngayong nagmo-Mormon ka na?
Melanie: Ah okay lang yan Boy, kasi matagal na rin akong semi-retarded
toink!!!!!!
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