SERYOSONG PATAWA KA TALAGA!

CELEBRITY JOKES

Erap was singing: “Put your left feet in, then put your left feet out…” Jinggoy: “Dad, dapat foot.” Erap: “Ay oo nga, sori. Foot your left feet in, then foot your left feet out…”
OscarDelaHopia – Pacman: “Nars, gib me samting por my pain!” Nurse: “Okay sir, I’ll give you morphine” Pacman: “No, no! I want less pain, not more pain!”
Jinggoy: “Dad, anong spelling ng ‘success’, dobol S ba?” Erap: “Naku, ewan ko anak, tatluhin mo na, para sigurado!”
Nasusunog yung bahay ni Erap at Loi sa U.S.) Loi: “Tawagan mo yung emrgency number!” Erap: “Teka! Nahanap ko na yung 9, pero di ko mahanap yung 11!”
Erap: “Hindi maganda itong nabili mong sabon, ayaw bumula!” Loi: “Eh bakit naman kasi ayaw mong basain muna?” Erap: “Hello? Nakalagay nga ‘for dry skin’ only!”
Not a joke, but it sounds like one. I saw Alma Moreno being interviewed on TV. Host: “Ano naman ang specialty mo sa pagluluto?” Alma: “Mostly Chinese diseases…”
Erap: “Hon, na-carnap yung kotse natin!” Loi: “Nahabol mo?” Erap: “Hindi, pero nakuha Friend: “Pare, saan ka nanggaling?” Pepe Pimentel: “Sa libing ng biyenan ko.” Friend: “Eh bakit ang dami mong kalmot?” Pepe: “Lumaban eh…”
It’s one, in one.” Manny Pacquiao on the latest deadly virus (H1N1)
During a funeral) Erap: “Anak, bilis, lumabas tayo agad! Wag tayong paiiwan!” Jinggoy: “Bakit po?” Erap: “Ayan o, nakalagay, ‘REMAINS WILL BE CREMATED”.”
A woman comes up to Melanie Marquez and shouts: “Hey bitch!” Melanie shoots back: “Don’t you EVER call me HEY!”
“Noodle! Noodle!” Manny Pacquiao playing “Deal Or No Deal”.
Erap texts Jinggoy the following message: “Anak, naiwan mo cellphone mo dito sa bahay.”
“Hidden Soldiers!” Manny Pacquiaowhen he was asked what’s the world’s number one anti-dandruff shampoo.
Teacher: “What is the scientific name of the female sex organ?” Erap: “I know this…it’s at the tip of my tongue…”
“Toilet! Toilet!” Manny Pacquiao when asked which movie had Edward and Bella as the lead characters.
An exchange of texts between Erap and Loi) Erap: “Pa-pasaload naman ng 2 pesos, kasi last text ko na ‘to, may kailangan lang akong i-text.” (Loi sends 2 pesos) Erap: “Tnx!” Loi: “Wag mo na kong i-text!” Erap: “K!”
Jinggoy: “Dad, pasilip nga kung sira yung signal light.” (Erap puts his head out the window of the car) Erap: “Sira nga! Ay, ayos pala! Ay teka, sira nanaman! Ayan, ayos nanaman…”
Alma: “One burger please!” Waiter: “With pleasure, ma’am.” Alma: “No, with ketchup.”
Reporter: “Anong pasalubong mo kay Jinky?” Manny: “Ibon!” Reporter: “Ha? Anong klase?” Manny: “Mik-ap, lipstik, iba-ibang Ibon products!”
Alma: “Doc, si joey po laging sumisigaw pag nagka-climax siya!” Doc: “O, normal lang yun.” Alma: “Eh, nagigising po ako eh!”
Q: “Bakit hindi nagsusuot ng grass skirt si Mahal?” A: “Kasi nagmumukha siyang sipa.”
Q: “Bakit hindi nagsusuot ng turtleneck si Bembol Roco?” A: “Kasi nagmumukha siyang roll-on.”
Q: “Anong title nung children’s album na ginawa ng Goo Goo Dolls at ni Lady Gaga?” A: “Goo Goo Gaga.”
Jinggoy: “Dad, bakit ang barko lumulutang sa tubig pero ang karayom lumulubog?” Erap: “Duh! Yung karayom may butas!”
(Alma Moreno called Philippine Airlines) Alma: “How long is the flight from Manila to Vancouver?” The person on the other line said: “Just a minute, ma’am…” Alma: “Wow, ang bilis lang pala!” (then puts the phone down).
The Abu Sayyaf were looking for FVR, GMA and Erap, who all hid inside a sack each. The rebels kicked FVR’s sack, and FVR said: “Arf! Arf!” The rebels moved to GMA’s sack and kicked it, GMA said: “Meow! Meow!” The rebels moved to Erap’s sack and kicked it, and Erap said: “Patatas! Patatas!”